HELLO!🤩 I know, I know my last post was literally almost a year ago I can't even believe it! But, I'm back and ready more than ever to catch you all up on my life ✨
I have seriously been so occupied with a bountiful amount of new opportunities from my last post, and I can't wait to update you all on the latest...
I don't really want to go in any chronological order, but basically, from the time I left my home in Hawaii 🌺 this past summer, I headed over to Atlanta, Georgia for a bit then flew over to Dakar, Senegal 🇸🇳 to meetup with my honey in the fall! It was such a BIG decision for me to get up and purchase a flight ticket to head to a whole 'nother part of the world I've never travelled to! But, I'm so glad that I did :)
Last semester (my terms are all in school language, sorry lol) I did continue my studies at NYU Shanghai virtually, and took a handful of classes from NYU NYC campus. This period of time is also when I established my now (thriving, thank you universe) business venture: VA (virtual assistant) business. I was a bit hectic to continue opening up multiple streams of income--since being away from home and jobs in Hawaii--so I decided to start a business I could do wherever I was in the world. Where distance couldn't limit me! I am SO proud of myself for starting this new opportunity and have to shoutout my sister, Taimane Kini (IG @taimanekini + @taimanephotography) who literally took my idea into a REALITY, has seriously helped me secure my initial clients within such a short time frame of my business being launched, and also guided me to find my footing in the professional business world.
I am so extremely thankful to her, because I would definitely not be where I am now in terms of business expansion, connections and networking.
From Senegal, I headed to The Gambia 🇬🇲 (where my mans is from) and got married! He (Alieu) brought up the idea to me when I was in Hawaii about getting married in his traditional cultural and religious way. I was so hesitant at first because I did not picture getting married so young (for me) and I also didn't know if I was ready for that commitment in the middle of my school and work career. It just wasn't in the books! However, with ample time to think about this decision, my heart and gut screamed that it's the right step for me. I truly believe in trusting your gut and true feelings wholeheartedly ♥️.
Once we arrived in The Gambia for the intention of getting married and me meeting his family, I was happily surprised 🥰. His family was so welcoming and loving towards me from the moment I walked out of the airport gates. There were so many of them waiting for me to arrive, and once I got to his compound (a community of houses), I was welcomed by his mom, who I absolutely adore, his brothers, and all his little cousins!
TBH (to be honest), there was definitely a culture shock probably both ways for his family and I, but I can happily say that I felt well-adjusted to the "village" (as Alieu puts it) life. There were lots of differences, from eating together with 5-6 (sometimes even more) people altogether, picking from one huge bowl of amazing food, to having no toilet paper in the bathroom, but rather learning to use water as his family (and many other cultures) believe it's more sanitary than tissue.
There was also a wide language barrier, as I couldn't speak Mandika (local Gambian dialect), Wolof (local Senegalese and Gambian dialect) or Creole Portuguese (Guinea-Bissau dialect ((Alieu's family is from Guinea-Bissau and also Gambia))). I definitely tried to pick up some of the language to be able to talk with them, but I also believe that body language helped me a lot as well! For instance, till this day, I cannot communicate to his mom, but whenever she would knock on our door to give us food (which she did ALL the time, bless her heart) or call us when it's time to eat together, she would always point to her mouth which indicated to me that it's chow time! There's so many more examples I can put, but watch out for my new video coming out soon to explain more :)
So, after a few weeks living there, we started to plan out our wedding and everything that came with it, including a life-changing moment for me. I didn't realize (nor did Alieu) that I would have to convert to Islam (as Alieu is Muslim) in order to have a traditional Muslim marriage. But, that's what had to happen, and I was in for a big shock.
I don't associate myself as being religious and don't claim any religious denomination, although I was brought up in a Christian household. In Islam, it is acceptable for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim, but a Muslim woman must marry a Muslim man. I thought that concept was really interesting, as Alieu explained to me that in his perspective, it's the man's duty since traditionally, he is the head of the household to teach his wife and children more about Islam. However, the local imams (priests) in his village had a difficult time coming to an agreement about letting us get married in a traditional Muslim way without me converting. Their main argument was the fact that I didn't associate as Christian or Jewish initially, which is the typical religions accepted in Islam for a woman to be associated with and for a Muslim man to marry. Someone like me who didn't have any foundation or grounding of religion, really boggled their decisions.
So, a decision had to be made, and so it did.
I surprisingly converted to Islam without realizing it, and my mans was so upset during the ceremony because he had no idea as well. So, what had happened was, the imams were heavy in conversation throughout the week, not really giving Alieu or I a clear picture as to when we could get married, because of the pending decision. However, one day, they told Alieu that we could get married that day, and so we rushed to the markets and stores to get everything prepared for me that day (super-last minute, I know). BUT, when we came back, it was a whole other story.
I was immediately rushed into the room by Alieu's elderly aunties, and they wrapped me from head to toe in a hijab and other coverings. I was so confused with what to do, but just went with it, and then next thing I know I'm sitting in the middle of 12 imams (priests) with a bunch of elderly ladies around me, and I'm reciting parts of the Quran (Muslim "bible") and making empty promises with who and what I had to pray to. I had NO idea what I was saying, I could see Alieu arguing with someone in the background, and then he came forward and exclaimed to the imams that he didn't know I was going to convert and did not approve of me converting, then stormed out. SHEESH.
Everything happened so quickly, and just like that, I converted to Islam. But, my heart and soul did not.
To be quite frank, I had an identity crisis and felt extremely overwhelmed after the ceremony. Everyone around me was so happy that I had converted, and it was supposed to be a time filled with joy and celebration. But, I was in Alieu's mom's room bawling my eyes out because I thought I sold my soul to a religious space that I've always kept sacred for when it was my time to decide which religion my heart belonged to, if that ever comes. I was confused and frightened with what I had just gotten myself into, and felt like I wasn't in control of my life. But, luckily, Alieu explained to me that if I don't accept in my heart that I am a Muslim and don't practice the Islamic values, that Allah (God) will not accept that I am a Muslim, even though I converted. He really calmed me down, and also talking with my mom helped me come to the realization that I dictate who I am or who I'm not, not any label or other people.
The thing is, it has nothing to do with Islam or being Muslim itself, I would've been just as scared if I got baptized at a Catholic Church. It's simply because I've always made a conscious decision to never half-ass (excuse my language) commit to a religion that I didn't wholeheartedly believe in/understand. So, being pushed into a religion knocked me off my moral compass and scared me for a bit. I always reflect back on that experience and am somewhat grateful I went through that, as it helps me prepare for future unexpected events. This experience also really challenged my morals, but I can say that I pushed through and stuck to who I am, proudly.
Alieu is teaching me a lot about Islam, to the very little things like how their religion is big on giving to charity (which is amazing to me), walking to the mosque, which will give them more reward by Allah rather than driving or to be in a vehicle. Each step they take will grant them more rewards in the afterlife. I am learning a lot, and am so blessed to have such a supportive and understanding partner in life to offer me a new perspective in a spiritual sense.
After I converted, but did not accept being a Muslim in my heart, Alieu and I got married in Islam! This type of marriage is called a Cadi marriage, and it is not recognized as a legal marriage, but us tying the knot in Islam is deemed a legitimate marriage and recognized by the Muslim community. Alieu and I got married on Christmas day (unexpectedly, again) and this time, it was the best feeling ever. To be surrounded by his close friends, neighborhood, and family was amazing as they were all so supportive and happy for us. This was such a new and exciting chapter in my life that has forced me to grow up more and see life in a much more mature light.
I am so blessed for my marriage, and my husband who is my best friend. Our relationship isn't perfect (who's is?) but we're learning so much as young adults embarking on our journey through life. I love him and am very happy that we're apart of one another's lives 💖.
From then, I decided to stay in The Gambia with my husband and his family for yet another online semester (which was quite dreadful, let me say). I love learning, and love school, but doing 3 semesters online is NOT it. I don't usually complain about circumstances which I can't control (online school bc COVID-19), but it was definitely draining to have classes from all over the world, in different timezones, and to be glued to technology for hours upon hours every single day.
This semester I took classes from 3 different NYU campuses:
2 from NYU Tel Aviv, Israel
1 from NYU New York, USA
1 from NYU Prague, Czech Republic
1 from NYU Sydney, Australia
It was AMAZING how I could easily connect with people across the globe at my fingertips and how much I've learned from these classes. The classes I took satisfy one out of my two minors: Entrepreneurship & Innovation. These classes were so informative and interesting, as I've never wrote a business document or presented so much within one week until this semester.
At the same time, I was running my virtual assistant business online, and juggling that, online school, and being a new wife which was sometimes difficult but super rewarding in the end. I've learned a lot about my school and work career as well as my relationship, which will only build upon my experiences and help me grow more in those different areas of my life, hopefully placing balance in my life.
I also was unexpectedly in the middle of (almost) securing an internship with the Israeli Embassy in Senegal, but had some difficulties on the school's end with making that happen. This opportunity which presented itself to me was such a blessing, and I will always remember this (almost) amazing last-minute internship experience opportunity while abroad!
With so much going on in my life, and our need to want our own space, Alieu and I moved out of his family's place and into our own for the rest of my school semester. We were closer to more lively and bustling areas to go shopping, go out, and do more things (as well as better WiFi compared to his village).
However, unexpectedly in the middle of my school year, I got news back home that my grandma has fallen ill, again. I made the decision to want to come back home to be with her, although it was never in my books to go back home, but to continue on in this journey abroad with my husband, as newly weds. However, family is EVERYTHING to me and proceeds anyone and anything else in my life. I love her forever and need to be by her side. I will be returning home to her and my family early next month. I would sincerely appreciate any prayers, positive messages, energy and love her way 🙏🏼.
My grandma's name is Dorothy Ellis 🤍.
Overall, the amount of experiences that I've gone through in the past months makes me feel like I'm truly in a movie, but I just can't help but express how thankful and blessed I am for my ancestors who watch over me daily, a higher being protecting me, and for my soul for genuinely guiding me into continuous prosperity and opportunities. I love life, and will live it fearlessly until my last breath.
Until next time 💋
Fatima (my Muslim name)